HAS PABLO FINALLY GONE NUTS? THIS MAY BE.
But first, introducing (l-r):
In Part 1, I argued convincingly (cough) that “giant” watches are not a fad, but a correction, a harbinger of the future, and that watches have been too small all along. I stand by that claim. Look at the lines, people, look at the lines.
In the process of trying to get pics for this story (which, along with the video, was so taxing I’m going to make this story short and let the images and vid speak for themselves; I’m just that easily fatigued), my neighbor Eryn approached our tiny, crappy apartment building in Silver Lake / Hollywood, making for the following humorous montage.
(Our street is at Sunset Junction, so you can choose “what kind of cool” you want to be: douchey Hollywood cool or even-douchier Silver Lake cool: it’s all good.)
I don’t know what to say, other than I love all three of these watches.
They just look great. (Okay, the Diesel might be a tad extreme, but it’s fun, and people will “ooh” and “aah” and laugh over it. And sharing is caring, or something, right?)
I think we already addressed the basic size jokes in Part 1 (and they’re all great), so let me just say, again, that I wish to appeal to your aesthetic sense. Small watches just look “off,” once your eyes adjust to a more continuous line from shoulder to arm to hand. And if that’s not a scientific proof, unfurling with an eerie Calculus-like certainty from point to plane to surface, geez my friend, you are demanding.
Anyway, hey, all these watches are great, aren’t they? And they all worked really hard and put on a really great show.
In the real world, the meaningless platitude above would be followed, at least, by a bit of rigor: In other words, some brave, or heartless, soul would at least have the guts to actually declare one winner and several losers, but not me. I don’t roll like that. If one of these watches had actually crossed me, I might grind it beneath my black, wish-they-were-intimidating Doc Martens and then regret not trying to pan it off to some rube on eBay instead, like a respectable modern human. (J/k; eBay is far too complicated for me.)
But no, let’s face it, if these watches were women I’d be darting from one to the other in a frenzied attempt to fill a chasm of desire that can never be satiated. Nah, probably not, ‘cuz actually I don’t roll like that either, having been too badly beaten by the whip of past mistakes; and, once flailed, forever shy. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be gutless, rzight? So onward:
Most Beautiful “Better-Sized” Watch: Nixon 51-30
Jeez, I don’t know what it is, but you could marry the band. I keep my watches stashed on my bedside and I could swear I’ve spent an hour or more just staring at it, like Gollum at the ring. The gunmetal is “totes” amazing; so amazing I’ll say “totes.”
Best Overall “Better-Sized” Watch: Kyboe BS-005
Bigger than the Nixon, and it lights up like a 1978 game of Simon when you hit the “illuminate” switch. The Nixon, for all its splendor, alas, hides a bit too much. I spend enough time in my apartment. When I go out, I don’t want my watch to hide; I want it to be making introductions. The Kyboe is big enough to say hello before I do, but not so big that muggers hiding in the bushes on my street get a 15-second heads-up that I’ll soon be turning the corner.
Biggest and Baddest-Ass “Better-Sized” Watch: Diesel DZ7193
The Diesel DZ7193 is the stylistic equivalent of a punch to the face. It can’t fail to get a reaction. I’ve worn it exactly one time and received 2 gushing compliments (one from a girl, one from a dude, so you can get “respett” across the spectrum of society), and noticed more than one person checking it out from a distance. The Diesel is basically a fearless throwing down of the gauntlet, as though to say: “That’s right, mofo. That’s right. Beat this. … If you dare.”
It also covers four time zones, so after a series of imaginary 40-hour flights from LA, to say Paris, to say Africa, then maybe (even) home to New Orleans, I can bludgeon myself over the head with it, to get some rest.
Pablo Avion lives in a 250-sq. ft. apartment in either Hollywood or Silver Lake, or both, when he really wants to impress you. The watches barely fit in his apartment. Welcome to hell.